Secrecy Harms Adoptees and Adoptive Families.

“Secrets within any family distort reality, undermine trust, and destroy intimacy.  Secrets create exclusion, destroy authenticity, product fantasies, evoke fear, and kindle shame. For those touched by adoption, there is a high cost to pay.”

For The Records II: An Examination of the History and Impact Of Adult Adoptee Access to Original Birth Certificates, Policy & Practice Perspective, July 2010, Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute. p. 31, citing: Schooler, J.E. & Norris, B.L. (2002). Coping with birthparent loss in adopted children.  Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry. 43 (2), 213-223.

“Research has shown that secrecy within adoptive families, attempts to deny or suppress children’s interest in their birth families, and parents’ difficulty in communicating freely with their children about adoption are all linked with greater distance in the parent-child relationship in childhood and adulthood – as well as with more adjustment difficulties for the children.” (emphasis added)

For The Records II: An Examination of the History and Impact Of Adult Adoptee Access to Original Birth Certificates, Policy & Practice Perspective, July 2010, Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute. p. 31, citing: Brodzinsky, D. (2006). Family structural openness and communication openness as predictors in the adjustment of adopted children. Adoption Quarterly, 9 (4), 1-18.; Ruetner, M.S. & Koerner, A.F. (2008). The effect of family communication patterns on adopted adolescent adjustment. Journal of Marriage and Family, 70, 715-727; Grotevant, H.D. (2007) &McRoy, R.G. (1998). Openness in adoption: Exploring family connections. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage; Passmore, N. Feeney, J.. & Foulstone, A. (2007). Secrecy within adoptive families and its impact on adult adoptees. Family Relaionships Quarterly, 5, 3-5.

“According to both research and decades of experience, adopted adults who choose to search make it clear that they are not rejecting their adoptive parents or looking for new ones. Rather, they are primarily manifesting a desire to complete their understanding of their personal histories or heritage.”

For The Records II: An Examination of the History and Impact Of Adult Adoptee Access to Original Birth Certificates, Policy & Practice Perspective, July 2010, Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute. p. 25, citing Treseliotis, J., Feast, J. & Kyle, F. (2005). The adoption triangle revisited: A study of adoption, search and reunion experience. London: British Association for Adoption & Fostering.